Time To Let Him Go
by Anna-Cate
Summary: Lily Evans seeks solitude in an unlikely place after losing her best friend.


Time To Let Him Go

The rain had plastered her red hair to her head, her robes were sticking to her body and she was leaving a trail of water behind her like a large snail as she wound her way through the castle.

It had been a long day for Lily Evans.

She had struggled through eight hours of classes, on the brink of tears all day. As soon as that last bell had rung, she was away through the classroom door, not waiting to explain to her friends where she was going.

She had walked through the castle grounds for hours, having no interest in returning for dinner, letting the tears fall thick and fast down her cheeks, feeling the dry residue it left behind on her face. She had been glad when the rain had come, washing away the tell-tale signs of crying, and alleviating the throbbing headache she had due to her racking sobs.

It had all caught up to her, and now, after hours of thinking, of being alone, there was only one person she wanted to speak to. But he could be anywhere.

She wondered aimlessly through the halls, unsure where to begin searching for him.

Her legs were numb, partly from the cold, partly from exhaustion. But the numbness was good. The numbness was better than the pain.

She didn't know where he appeared from; he had a habit of popping up out of nowhere. But this time, she did not care. She looked up into his hazel eyes and collapsed into his arms, the tears starting to fall again.

'How do you do it?' She asked the boy, her voice coming out raspy and hollow from the hours of weeping.

She knew he would understand what she meant.

'It's hard, loving someone who doesn't love you back.' Was his simple answer, and she wrapped my arms even tighter around him.

'I'm sorry.' She whispered, remorse written all over her face. 'I never knew it felt like this.'

She could feel the boy shrug in her arms. 'You can't change how someone feels about you. No matter how much you want them to. You just have to keep going. And hope they change they're mind.' He whispered, rubbing calming circles on the small of her back.

She was vaguely aware that she was making him soaking wet too, but she had no energy to remove herself from the hug, nor did she want to. The presence of someone who understood what she was feeling was not something she was willing to give up at that moment.

'What if they don't?' She asked, the fear in her voice sneaking through despite her best efforts to hide it.

'It gets easier. But sometimes, you have to let them go.'

'Have you?' She asked, finally drawing herself out of the protection of his arms to look up into his face. She could see the pain, as real as what she was feeling at that moment, reflected in his bespectacled eyes.

'I tried. But, no' he murmured back.

Try as she might, Lily couldn't help but rejoice a little at these words. She had lost the love of her life yesterday. Severus, who had introduced her to magic, stuck by her for years, had shared all her secrets and deepest fears with; had left her. Disgusted by who she was and where she had come from. And yet, here was this boy, standing in front of her, looking as heartbroken as Lily felt, telling her that he was there; that he accepted her, loved her no matter who she was or where she came from.

He understood her pain, and for the first time, she could truly understand his. Lily had never believed someone could really be in love so young. Never really thought she meant anything to this boy standing in before her. But she had learnt yesterday that love was very real. She had loved Severus. And she had lost him.

He didn't love her back. And the pain was excruciating.

But James Potter; there was understanding in his eyes, because he had lived with the same grief for a long time.

Unfolding herself from his arms, she took both his large warm hands in her cold damp ones, and looked up into his warm eyes. 'I think I have to let go.' She murmured.

James gave no answer; merely looked down at her, squeezing her hands, trying to give her some of his strength. This was not a decision he could help her with. 'He's not the same boy anymore.' She breathed, fresh tears trickling down her cheeks. And James Potter continued to stand there, continued to let her cry to him about her lost love and Lily Evans knew then that he was not the boy she thought he was.

He was kind, and compassionate, and understanding. And on top of all her heartbreak for Severus, Lily could feel a feint stirring of immense gratitude in the bottom of her heart, and had a strange feeling, that things would never be quite the same between them again.


End file.
